Opening Up
by ECaitlin
Summary: Eli is new to school, and Clare is his new English partner. When assigned an entire essay on their partners, both Claire and Eli have things to hide. Can they help each other deal with their problems, and, can they get over them? Eclare!- FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Degrassi. **

**This might start out a little slow, but it will get better. I started this FanFic mainly because I am heartbroken after Drop The World, and the new Season 11 promo, in which both Claire and Eli are seen with new characters. I mean, come on, guys! They spent the whole last season making us fall in love with Eclare, just to rip it out from under us! (told you I was a little emotional) So here's a nice little story in remembrance of the Eclare that we all loved.  
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><p>"Today we will be starting a new assignment." Ms. Dawes said from the front of the room.<p>

I was the only one in the room who didn't sigh. I liked English. I liked writing. I _liked_ assignments. Okay, I was probably a freak.

"I expect everyone to find a partner." Ms. Dawes announced before settling into her desk. "Keep in mind that you will have to do a three page essay on the person you chose to be partners with."

In typical teenage fashion, everyone stood up and ran to their best friends, or their closest friend in the class. This was the only thing about that assignment that bothered me. I was a year younger than all these kids, being in advanced placement. That meant that all the kids in this room didn't know me, which made me partner-less.

Great. I watched as everyone shuffled desks together in groups of two and chatted away with their partners. I was the only one sitting alone.

"Clare, do you- Oh! Eli. Finally. I was wondering when you were going to show up." Ms. Dawes said, a smile directed to the back of the room where the door was. Everyone turned.

There stood the cute boy who'd run over my glasses with his hearse. Yes, I said hearse. It was a little weird, but easy to forget about when the full heat of those piercing green eyes are on you.

He nodded at Ms. Dawes, spotted the only empty desk in the class, directly in front of mine, and walked over to it, slumping into the seat when he got to it.

"I assume you have a reasonable explanation for being so late?" She asked.

"Not really." He replied. The room was silent, the only sound coming from Eli and Ms. Dawes. Kids are always curious about the new kid. Especially one who looks like Eli, with his dark hair falling in his face and the small amount of eyeliner around his green eyes, and all that black clothing. He was _different_.

Ms. Dawes' eyes narrowed, but she didn't yell at Eli. She wasn't really the yelling type. " Well, since it's your first day, I'll let you off with a warning. I expect you to be on time tomorrow." She told him, her tone friendly but firm. "If you could please pull your desk up beside Mrs. Edwards. We're starting a group project and you two are the only ones without partners."

Eli shrugged and looked around. He finally turned his eyes to me and stood up, pulling his desk beside mine.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"Hi." I replied back, keeping my eyes on the front of the room as Ms. Dawes described what she expected in our assignments.

"Glasses girl, right?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

My eyes narrowed at the new nickname. "I'm trying to pay attention. If you want a good grade on this assignment you might want to too." I told him in a hushed voice.

"Since I'm only giving you a week to do this assignment, I expect you to work on this in class as well as during your free time." Ms. Dawes announced. Suddenly Eli's eyes flicked towards her.

"I can't do that." He said, just loud enough to be heard by everyone. His voice was low, unhappy.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Goldsworthy?" Ms. Dawes asked, looking a little surprised.

"Yes, there is. I have- My nights are busy." He said. That sparked a bit of curiosity in me. I'd have to ask him later.

"I'm sure you and Mrs. Edwards can work something out." She said, and before Eli could object again, the bell rang.

Eli was the first out of the room and I hurried after him. "I'd like to get to work on this right away. Is there any chance you could be free tonight?" I asked. I'd heard him say he was busy, but he couldn't have meant _every_ night.

Eli stopped infront of a locker and started playing with the lock. "I'm busy." He replied, not looking at me.

"You can't spare even an hour?" I asked.

Eli ran a hand through his dark hair. He turned to me, an annoyed expression on his face. "Fine." He said. "Where do you live? I'll meet you there two hours after school ends."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. I stuttered nervously. "M-my house? Um... can't we work at your house?" I suggested. The thought of anyone coming over to my house made me nervous.

For years my parents had fought, but lately it's become worse. The house was always a mess. I cleaned it, yet somehow the mess kept piling up. I had no help from mom, who was always either angry or depressed, and dad was rarely home. When he was, there was nothing but shouting going on, sometimes worse than that. Mom was covered in bruises, and I had a few myself. That wasn't something I was willing to risk another person witnessing.

Eli bristled. "No." He said firmly, not giving any explanation. "We can't."

"The library, then. It's quiet, and it doesn't close until nine." I told him, smiling a little. Much better than hanging out at my house.

Eli nodded but didn't say anything else. Definitely the quite, mysterious type.


	2. Chapter 2

I'd heard a lot of rumors about Eli Goldsworthy by the time school ended. That he was psycho, getting kicked out of his old school for attacking a teacher. That he lived in a group home because both of his parents had killed themselves, and he was extremely depressed, hence the Gothic look. That he had killed someone and spent years in a juvinile detention center. My favorite, of course, being that Eli and his parents were from the circus and that he was lion tamer.

I don't really understand how that last one got started, really, because of how ridiculous it was. But it was definitely funny.

"Did you hear the one-"

"That he's a lion tamer?" I put in, cutting off Alli. We were headed towards the Dot. I hadn't wanted to go home right away, and I had a few hours to blow before I had to be at the library to meet Eli.

"Aren't circus performers supposed to wear bright, sparkly outfits?" She asked, amusement evident on her face.

"Apparently not." I replied while opening the door of the Dot. It was pretty crowded, filled with Degrassi students.

"I guess you'll get the _real_ story tonight." She said, giving me a sly glance.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Well, it's going to be just the two of you, sharing your life stories in a dark,intimate, romantic room-"

"We're going to the _library_." I said flatly. "Not exactly romance central."

"Whatever." She replied flippantly, ordering a strawberry smoothie for herself and a triple triple coffee for me. "You need to show K.C. that you've moved on. Eli may not exactly be the best guy for you, but he's a guy. One you have to spend endless hours alone, together, with."

"You make it sound like we're going on a date. It's necessary homework. I don't plan on marry the guy." I told her. I loved Alli, but she was definitely the hopeless romantic type. "Plus, I think I'm going to stay away from guys for a while. I mean, last year wasn't exactly good for me, romantically. There was K.C., and then that whole embarrassing thing with Declan..."

"Fine, fine." She said, taking a sip of her smoothie. "But if something _does_ happen, I want to know, okay?"

I agreed, but I knew that there was going to be nothing to share.

I was sitting on the steps out front of the library, waiting for Eli. I planned to go in right away, but realized that it would be difficult for him to find me in the large building. So I waited. And waited. It was nearly half an hour after the scheduled time that we were supposed to meet that Eli finally showed up.

"I'm starting to see a pattern here. Rebelling against punctuality as well?" I asked.

Eli shot me an annoyed look. "I was busy." He replied, walking ahead of me.

"Doing what?" I asked, quickening my pace to keep up with him. He opened the door to the library and didn't hold it for me. I was almost smacked in the face with the heavy glass door.

"None of your business." He said stonily.

"Well, if I have to right an entire three page essay on you, I'm thinking it might become my business." I said, trying to lighten the mood. That was a hard thing to do in current company.

Eli obviously knew his way around the library and eventually I found myself in a small area at the back of the library. It _was_ kind of dark back here, and definitely intimate. But not in a way that Alli would appreciate.

"You'd better be interesting, if I have to write three whole pages on you." Eli said, surprising me.

"Then you're in for a big disappointment. " I told him. "Not much interesting here. What about you?"

"Not really." He said, a guarded expression on his face.

"I beg to differ. Being a lion tamer is pretty interesting if you ask me." I replied, laughing a little.

Eli laughed back. It looked so out of place with his whole persona, the deep, dark, emotional thing. "So that's what they're saying, is it?" He asked, looking amused.

"That, and a few other things." I told him.

"Like what?"

"Just that you're... um..." I mumbled, uncomfortable. It was one thing to tell someone people thought they were in the circus, a complete other to tell them that people think they're a psychotic killed. "That you were in juvi. And a couple other things..."

His expression darkened immediately. "What other things?"

"Umm... that you, uh, attacked a teacher." I said, shifting, even more uncomfortable. "That your parents committed suicide. And that you... you killed someone."

Eli laughed again, but this time it wasn't in a happy way at all. It was bitter, much more suiting his look. "Really? Do you believe them?"

He was staring so intensely into my eyes that I had to look away. "No. I don't really listen to what people say." I told him.

He nodded. "I've heard some things about you." He said, the amusement back in his eyes.

"Like what?" I asked. How had he heard things about _me_?

His eyes slowly went down to my chest and I fought the urge to button up my shirt all the way. Eli lifted his eyebrows.

"I didn't get a boob job, not that it's any of your business." I replied angrily. "Can we get to work now?"

"Sure thing, Clare." He said, giving me a smile. "Tell me about yourself."

"Alright. Well, I'm a christian. So is the rest of my family." I started, only to be cut off by Eli.

"How fitting that your partner would be an atheist."

"Atheist?" I asked, my eyebrows going up in surprise.

He nodded. "But continue."

"Alright. Um... My best friends name is Alli. I live with both of my parents. My older sister Darcy is in Kenya."

"And?"

And my father beats my mother and me. I hate them both for doing what they're doing to me. I wish my life would go back to the way it was, before they fought. I wish Darcy hadn't tried to kill herself, pulling my parents even farther apart. I wish I wasn't alone, sharing this burden with no one but myself.

But I couldn't tell Eli any of those things.

"I'm smart. I take advanced glasses. I'm in gifted classes, too." I told him. I didn't like talking about myself. "What about you?"

"I live with both my parents, too. My dad works for a radio station. I drive a hearse, which you know. I like dark, rock music. Anything that's loud. I've never even seen a lion in real life." He said, ticking things off on his finger. "That about covers it."

"That covers it?" I said, doubtful. "What about what you were doing after school today?"

The guarded look came over his face again. "I told you, it was none of your business."

"But-"

"Look, I didn't sign up to broadcast my entire life story to some goody-goody little genius, okay? " He said, standing up. "I've got to go."

I didn't answer him, but I stared after him as he slunk away. Jerk, I thought angrily. I hadn't done anything wrong, and I definitely didn't deserve that.

I looked down at the paper I had been writing on, keeping notes while Eli had talked. I didn't have much, and it didn't look like I was going to get anymore.

Eli Goldsworthy: Boy Of Many Mysteries. I wrote at the top of a fresh page. Then I shoved the papers into my bag and left the library.

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><p><strong>So, what do you think? Review, pretty pretty please!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"Clare!" My mother screamed from downstairs. I quickly jumped off the bed and ran towards her voice. I found her and my father downstairs. She was standing on one side of the kitchen table, him on the other. She was obviously in defense mode, he obviously in attack.

"Dad, stop." I said quietly. "Why don't you go upstairs and lay down or something?"

"Clare, why don't _you_ go upstairs and stay out of this." He said. His voice was low, his words slightly slurred. After Darcy's suicide attempt, dad had started drinking. He was only violent when he was drunk. That meant I had to be very careful with what I said right now.

"Dad-"

"GO, CLAIRE!" He yelled, coming towards me. He grabbed my arm, hard, and pulled me up the stairs. Mom shouted after him, but he ignored her. He pushed me into my room and slammed the door. I didn't try to leave. It would only make him more angry.

I woke up the next morning with finger shaped bruises on my arm. Great. I pulled a long sleeved sweater from my closet, knowing that something short sleeved would bring on questions that I didn't want to answer.

At school, Alli questioned me about my homework session with Eli.

"Nothing happened. Nothing _will_ happen, Alli. He's a jerk." I said, silencing her blabber.

"What did you do?" She asked, suddenly looking angry. Alli might have been somewhat of a bobble head, but she was a fiercely loyal friend.

"Nothing bad. Called me a goody goody genius and stormed out." I told her.

"Yeah, he looks like the storming type." She said. "And you _are_ a goody goody genius."

"I'm not that much of a goody goody." I said, hurt.

"Saint Clare, that's not a bad thing. It's what makes you, you." She said and smiled. "Got to run. Go have fun with jerk-boy.

Annoyed, I headed to class. Eli was actually on time this time. I slid into my desk next to him, ignoring his presence.

"Hey." He said. I ignored him. "Clare, I'm sorry, okay?"

I finally turned to him. "Really?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, doubtful.

"Yes." He said, looking annoyed now. "I just- some things are private, okay?"

I nodded. That was something I could understand. Everyone sat with their partners, some goofing off, some actually working.

"Well, I have a few things I need to know about you. Just cut me off if I'm getting a little to personal, okay?" I asked. Eli had been a jerk, but everyone has a right to their secrets and I wasn't going to be pushy.

"Can't it wait?" He asked, looking around.

I followed his gaze. "Why?"

"Can't it wait till the library? I don't exactly want to spill my life story in front of everyone here." He said. I noticed a couple people sneaking glances out way, and realized that most people were probably hoping to find out about the mysterious new kid.

"Fine. But you have to promise not to storm out on me this time." I told him. He nodded.

Class was spent mostly talking about me. I told Eli about the robot competition I was in with Alli and K.C and a few others. I told him about the play I'd helped with. I told him that I liked fantasy novels, especially vampire one. He laughed at that.

"You don't seem like the type to be into deep, dark, evil vampires." Eli said. "Isn't that, like, against your religion?"

"No." I said haughtily. "And even if it was, I don't care. I like them, and God isn't going to judge me for my choice in literature."

'Keep telling yourself that." He jokes.

Class had been all about me, and surprisingly it flew by quickly. Eli was funny, when he wasn't been a jerk, or all mysterious.

I was actually looking forward to meeting him at the library and finding out more about him, which Alli noticed.

"What happened to 'he is a jerk'?" She asked, smiling.

"He is a jerk. But he had a reason to be. Not a great one, but still." I told her as I put my stuff in my locker.

"Do you like him?" She asked.

"No." I said quickly. "He's not really my type."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. Big jump from K.C. to him." She said. She was right. K.C. was all light, with blonde hair, light eyes, where Eli was all dark, dark hair, dark clothes. Eli was into things like rock music and hearses. K.C. liked sports. I couldn't picture Eli playing basketball. Just the thought alone was funny.

"Do you want to go to the Dot for a bit, or maybe the mall?" I asked Alli. "I have a few hours to blow before I have to meet Eli."

"Why?" She asked.

"I don't know, he won't tell me." I replied, shutting my locker.

"Mysterious." She muttered. Then her eyes lit up. "Let's follow him."

"Follow him?" I asked, laughing. "I'm not going to stalk my English partner."

"Why not?" She asked. My friends aren't normal.

"Because... it's not right. And it's weird. And, he has a car. How're we supposed to follow that?"

"Sav. He borrowed the van and he's supposed to drive me home. I'm sure I can convince him to follow Eli for me." She said, a mischievous smile on her face.

Once Alli decided to do something, she did it. I was just there for the ride.

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><p><strong>Now, I know it's a little dark, but I had to give the characters some depth, you know? I couldn't just be like, "Eli and Clare fell in love at first site and had many curly haired, blue eyed goth children and lived happily ever after with absolutely no problems in their lives." Well, actually, I could, but I'm not gonna. :D REVIEW! Good, or bad! I don't mind criticism. <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

"You guys are weird, you know that, right?" Sav asked as we followed Eli's hearse down main street. "Seriously. Stalking people isn't normal."

"Shut up, Sav. We're girls, so it _is_ kind of normal for us to follow our crushes." Alli told him. She was watching Eli's hearse intently.

"He's not my crush!" I called from the back seat.

"Whatever, Clare." Alli said, waving a hand in my direction. "You know that you're just as curious as I am about where he's going."

That was true, but still..."But I wouldn't stalk him." I pointed out.

"That's because you don't have guts, Clare-bear." She said, then her eyes widened. "He's stopping!"

Sav slowed the car and pulled over. We were in front of one of those places that people go for counseling.

"Huh." Alli muttered. "Not that interesting. But I wonder what he's there for..."

Sav shook his head. "Where do you want me to drop you off, Clare?" He asked.

"The library." I told him. I could sit in there and read until it was time for Eli to show up.

Alli waved goodbye to me as I walked up the library steps. I went into the teen section and picked up a book to read to pass the time.

What was I going to say when I saw Eli? "Hey, I was wondering, why are you going to counseling?" And then he'd ask how I knew and I'd have to explain that Alli and I had followed him, which would make him either very pissed off, or very creeped out. Or, you know, both.

When he finally did show up, I'd made a list of all the reasons why he could be going to counseling. A lot of people went. Some because of parents divorcing, or their divorce. Some with alcahol or drug abuse. Some depressed.

I figured it was the last one for Eli. He'd said he lived with both his parents, which meant that they weren't divorced, though there was a chance that they were going to get divorced, like mine. But Eli fit most of the stereotypes for depressed teens. Not that he actually seemed that depressed. Mostly just angry. Maybe he was taking anger management classes.

"What're you so deep in thought about?" He asked as we sat down at our table at the back of the library.

I hadn't been paying attention to what he said, and answered him without even thinking.

"Trying to figure out what you're getting counseling for." I replied. Then I covered my mouth in horror. SHIT! I hadn't meant to say that. I wasn't even going to mention it. God, I was an idiot.

Anger flashed in Eli's eyes. "Who told you I was in counseling?" He asked, his voice calm but his expression anything but.

"Um, I just... heard it. Around." I said.

"I thought you said you didn't believe rumors." He said angrily.

"I- I don't but this one came from a reliable source?" I said, though it came out like a question.

"Fine." He said, staring me right in the eyes. "I was in the psych ward for a while. I was let out on the conditions that I visit a counselor every day from 3 till 5. Okay? Are you happy?"

Not really. That only brought up more questions. My eyes instantly dropped to his wrists. Darcy still had scars from where she'd cut herself, and I figured if Eli had done something like that, he'd have them too. But his wrists were covered with big leather bracelets.

He caught my gaze and gave me a bitter smile.

"No, I didn't slit my wrists." He said.

I nodded. "I didn't- well, that's good." I said quietly, looking away from him, embarrassed.

"I took a bunch of pills instead. I don't really like blood." He said bluntly. I looked up at him suddenly.

"What?" I asked. I'd heard him, but I was surprised that he'd told me. And even more surprised that he'd _done_ that.

"Passed out. My parents found me and brought me to the hospital. They pumped my stomach and then placed me in the psych ward." He said, not looking at me anymore.

"Why?" I asked. But apparently that was the one boundary I wasn't allowed to push. Eli's eyes closed up.

"Remember how I said some things were none of your business? Yeah, that's one of them." He snapped. I just nodded.

It was hot in the library. I peeled off my sweater and pulled a pen and paper from my bag.

"So, where were you born?" I asked, my pen poised to take notes.

"Here, in Toronto." He replied.

I wrote that down. "Parents names?"

"Ceecee and Bullfrog." He replied, no laughter in his voice. I looked up, positive that he was kidding but he looked completely serious.

"Oookaaay." I said slowly. "Age?"

"17." He replied.

"How long have you been seventeen?" I quoted, then laughed. I was a vampire girl and had, of course, read Twilight. Which meant I'd watched the not nearly as good as the book movies.

Eli looked confused. Then he lifted his eyebrows. "Are you quoting that stupid movie?" He asked.

I blushed. "It's not _that_ stupid..."

"Whatever you say, Blue Eyes." He replied.

"Blue Eyes?" I asked.

"I'm shocked that you didn't know, Clare! Your eyes, they're blue!" He replied mockingly.

"So then what should your nickname be? Black Soul?" I asked.

"Seems fitting." He replied, smiling.

There was something about that smile that did things to me. I squirmed in my seat, realizing just how cute Eli was. Which wasn't exactly a good thing. The boy had more mysteries than a Sherlock Holmes book. And he wasn't exactly the nicest guy in the world. But that smile... it lit up his face, making his pretty green eyes shine.

"Um... so... umm..." I mumbled, incoherent for a second. Darn it, I shouldn't be thinking things like that. I couldn't think that Eli was cute, that was-

"What happened to your arm?" He asked, suddenly standing up.

I'd gotten so caught up in everything that I'd forgotten about the bruises and taken my sweater off. How stupid was I?

I pulled my sweater off the back of the chair and was about to pull it on when Eli stopped me. He traced his fingers on the bruise until his hand perfectly covered it.

"Who did this to you?" He asked, his voice quiet `but his gaze on me intense.

"Remember when you said some things are private?" I asked. I dropped my eyes and didn't look at him.

"Yeah, but none of my secretes involve someone _hurting_ me." He replied angrily.

"No one hurt me intentionally, Eli." I lied. "I was in gym when one of the girls grabbed me to hard. I bruise easily. Okay?"

He looked like it was very much not okay, but went back to his seat instead of questioning me. I let out a small sigh of relief.

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><p><strong>When do I get to the lovedy dovedy stuff? Soon, I promise. REVIEW, people. I'm not going to demand reviews, but I'd really appreciate it. Tell me what you think so far, if you hate it, love it, don't really care for it? Kay? Thanks!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

"Come on." Eli said, standing up. I look up, startled. I was starting the first paragraph of my essay in quiet when he suddenly burst that out.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere." He said, a grin on his face.

"Ookaaay." I said, uncertain. Where did this suddenly enthusiastic Eli come from? "Where?"

"Just this place." He said, and his grin turned mischievous.

"We really should be working on our essay..." I mumbled. That's me: Clare the party pooper, who'd rather get her work done than go on an adventure.

Eli was kind of like an adventure himself. When you were with him, you never knew what was going to happen, or what you were going to get. Nice, funny, joking one minute. Angry, guarded, insulting the next. Too much of a roller coaster for my taste.

And yet, I stood up and put my papers away.

"This place will give you a real insight into the life of the famous Eli Goldsworthy." He promised.

"We're not going to the funeral home where you got that thing, right? Because that's really not my scene." I told him, a slight smile on my face as we walked to his hearse.

"Don't mock Morty." He said, returning the smile.

"You _named_ that thing?" I asked, staring at him with my eyes wide.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" He asked, looking confused. "Every good car needs a name, and Morty is a great car."

Eli slide into the drivers seat and I sat myself down, gingerly, in the passenger seat. Eli started up the car and immediately music thumped through the speakers. It was loud, metallic, and I couldn't understand the words the singer was screaming.

"How are you not deaf?" I called over the sound.

"What?" He yelled back.

"I said," I screamed. "How are you not-!"

The music stopped in the middle of my words and the echos of my shout still rang in my ears.

"-Deaf?" I finished.

"I grew up to loud music. You get a tolerance to it eventually." He told me, and then turned the music back on, but not nearly as loud.

I was a little nervous about where we were going. Where did a guy like Eli hang out? I pictured a biker bar, and shuddered. If he tries to take me to a bar, he's going to be so dead.

Finally we pulled up into a lot of abandoned warehouses. Eli drove until we were in front of the only one that looked lit up at all. There was all sorts of cars parked out front.

"What is this place?" I asked. Surely if it was a teen night club I'd have heard about it from Alli.

Eli shrugged. "A couple kids needed a place to play there music, but not a lot of clubs and bars let them in, you know? So someone started this place. It doesn't really have a name, and not many people know about it." He told me as we got out of the car.

"Not many?" I asked, eying the hundreds of cars in disbelief.

"Trust me, it may seem like a lot, but it's really not. You need to know the right people to know about this place."

"And you're the right people?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

"Of course." He said, smirking.

"Look, Eli," I started. The sound of rock music streaming through the walls of the building competing with my voice. "This really isn't my scene."

"What is your scene, Saint Clare?" He asked. He turned the full intensity of those green eyes on me and I stuttered for a minute.

"I-I don't know. Not something like _this_." I replied. I felt nervous and a little worried.

"How do you know if you haven't even given it a chance?" He asked. Then he suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me into the warehouse. "You need to start really living, Clare."

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><p><strong>I know this chapter is short, but it's just a little filler chapter. The next chapter will be up soon and it will have more depth to it, and it will be longer, I promise. REVIEW PEOPLE! And to all of those who have reviewed, that you so very much. You guys are all awesome. :D<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

I guess you could say that I did start living. I wouldn't have chose to go to this place on my own. Heck, I probably couldn't have even _found_ it on my own. Yet even despite the fact that it wasn't really my scene, and I didn't fit in to the black, leather clad crowd, I liked it. A little.

Eli's hand in mine definitely helped that. Not in a romantic way or anything. Just in a friendly, completely platonic way. Not that we were even friends, but, well... Whatever.

Eli dragged my through the crowd towards the stage where a guy with long blond hair, with black tips, screamed into the microphone, his voice competing with the heavy drumming in the background.

The smile on Eli's face was so care free. It wasn't like the smirk he used at school. It was like he felt comfortable here.

"This is kind of scary." I shouted in his ear. There was bodies crammed up on all sides of me. Most of them were sweaty from dancing.

If my parents could see my now, they'd kill me.

"It's not so bad." He said, and kept pulling me along. Eventually we parted through the crowd and found ourselves in front of a large, metal door that said "Band members only."

Eli took a key out of his pocket and opened the door. It was just a big, open space with a run down couch, a mini fridge, and a coffee table and another door.

"How'd they get the power on in here?" I asked. I could hear myself speak now, but barely. The music back here was still loud.

Eli shrugged. "We're not there yet, Clare." He told me. He walked towards the other door in the room and threw it open. It led to a set of stairs that went upwards. I followed him, confused.

"I thought you were bringing me to some goth club." I said, trying to catch up with him. "Not to hang out in the cellar of one."

"You'll like this place. It's cool." He said, and abruptly stopped. "You're not afraid of heights, are you?"

I felt myself pale. "Why?"

"It's a reasonable question." He said, blocking me from going any father.

"A little." I replied. A lot, actually, but I wasn't admitting that.

"Well, this place is a little high. Just a warning." He told me, and with that he continued up the stairs until we reached a final door. He threw this one open. There was a ledge, and that was it. No railings or anything, and it hung right over top of the stage.

The lights flashing all around the club weren't blinding from up here, and it actually looked kind of pretty. But the music was even more deafening.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, me in awe and Eli in appreciation. Eventually Eli stood up and gently led my back towards the door. The music was stopping and a bunch of bright lights turned on.

When we got back out to the crowd, the lead singer was telling everyone to drive safely.

"Eli!" Someone called. I turned, seeing a pretty girl with black hair and a lot of eyeliner coming towards us. Her eyes were narrowed.

Eli paled visibly and a shudder went through him. His closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them again they were filled with sadness, anger, and guilt.

Quite a lot of emotions for one person to express at once, yet Eli managed it.

"Who the hell is she?" The girl asked. She turned her narrowed, black ringed eyes in my direction.

"English partner." I said, since Eli obviously wasn't capable of answering her due to some kind of emotional overload going on with him. "I'm supposed to write a three page essay on what makes Eli tick. So he brought me here."

"Really?" She asked. She smiled, but it wasn't friendly. "Well, did he mention Julia?"

"Jen, seriously." Eli said, finally finding his voice. "This really isn't the time."

"It isn't?" She asked, mock innocence. "Because I thought she was one of the biggest parts of you, Eli?"

"Girlfriend?" I guessed, looking between the two of them.

"She was." Eli muttered quietly.

"Yeah, she was, but then she died and now Eli's hanging around with some tramp, my twin sister completely forgotten!" Jen shrieked. She looked angry, and hurt, and very pissed off at me.

Most girls would have yelled right back at her. I wasn't the kind of girl who did that, though. Especially when this girl was obviously grieving for her sister.

"It's not like that, Jen. You know I cant... You know I haven't forgotten Julia. That's not possible." He said quietly, his voice low.

"It sure looks possible." She said, eying me suspiciously.

"Does she really look like my type, Jen?" Eli snapped, finally angry with her. "You know I love Julia. Stop questioning that. We've got to go."

And Eli stomped away. I was so shocked that I didn't move for a few second. Yeah, I knew I wasn't Eli's type. He wasn't mine, either. Yet the way he said it stung a little.

Like I said, Eli Goldsworthy: Emotional roller coaster. One that sometimes goes off it's track.

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><p><strong>So, this chapter wasn't that long, but it sure had some interesting twists, huh? I decided to keep Julia a part of the story, but I wanted to add Jen in there to kind of shake up the pot, you know? What do you think? Review and tell me! - C<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

When we were both finally in the car Eli sped out of the parking lot. It scared me for a second but by the time we were on the main streets he'd calmed down a little.

"So who's Julia?" I asked quietly. I didn't want to push him, but I wanted to know. After what I'd just gotten caught up in, I felt that I had the right to at least ask. And he had the right to not answer.

"God, damn it. Clare, can't you just drop it?" He asked, his hands tightening on the steering wheel.

"Sorry." I replied, my eyes cast downwards. "Is she the reason why-"

"Claire!" He shouted. I flinched, an automatic reaction when guys raised their voices at me, thanks to my father.

Eli looked apologetic for a second, but then the anger was back in his eyes. "It's really none of your business. I never should have taken you there... Jen was right. I'm not being faithful to Julia."

"Eli," I said softly, not trying to disturb him. "Julia's dead, right? Wouldn't she want you to be happy?"

"You don't know anything about it. Drop it." He said, staring out the front window. "Where am I going?"

It was dark out by now. My parents would have been wondering where I was, if they even noticed me anymore. I gave Eli my address and we drove in silence towards my house. We pulled up out front and Eli shut off the car.

"I'm sorry for what happened back there. I'm sorry you got dragged into that." He said, and he looked sincere.

"It's-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Shouted my moms voice from inside the house. She was loud, really loud. Did the neighbors hear? Were they calling the police?

"RANDALL!" She screamed, and I bolted out of the hearse.

"Wait, Clare!" Eli called, but I ignored him. Please just drive away, I prayed.

I flew up the steps and burst into the house. Dad had mom by the hair. There was a red spot below her eye. Probably a result of being smacked.

"Let go of her!" I shrieked. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

When no one replied I ran forward and grabbed his arm, trying to make him release her. He didn't. Instead, he backhanded me across the face. I stumbled backwards, pain exploding in my head.

He'd always been careful not to hit me in the face. Didn't want questions asked.

"Clare, hunny, go to bed." Mom got out threw tears.

"No." I said, not leaving her.

"Clare!" Dad shouted, turning towards me. "This doesn't concern you."

And his words weren't slurred. Not even a little. There was no distant, unfocused gleam in his eyes. He hadn't been drinking.

That hurt more than all the pain he'd caused me. More than the slaps, the harsh grabbing. Because he was consciously doing this to us now. There was no excuse for it anymore.

"You leave her alone, and I'll go upstairs." I bargained. "Please."

Dad looked pissed for a minute, but then must have decided that it wasn't worth the fight right now. "Fine." He mumbled, and I watched as he headed out the front door.

"Are you okay?" I asked mom. I walked over to her and surveyed the damage. She'd have a black eye, probably. Nothing worse, though.

"You shouldn't have gotten involved, Clare." Mom said, her voice harsh. I stepped backed as if she'd slapped me. I hadn't done anything wrong. I was trying to _protect_ her. "Just go to sleep."

I turned around and headed for my room, not giving her a response.

I spent most of the morning the next day styling my hair so that it fell over half of my face, covering the red and purple bruise on my left cheek. When I got to school, my hair was the first thing Alli noticed.

"Taking a page from your boyfriends book, Clare-bear?" She asked, pointing at my hair.

"He's not my boyfriend." I snapped. The look of hurt that flashed across her face made me feel instantly bad. "I'm sorry. It's just... not a good day for me."

"Alright. But seriously, what's up with the hair? I like it, but it's just so... edgy for Saint Clare, don't you think?" She questioned.

"I just wanted a change." I lied.

In English I ignored Eli. He kept trying to get my attention but I ignored him. I didn't want to hear his questions. Eventually he gave up. At the end of class, I went to talk to Ms. Dawes.

"I need a new partner." I told her.

"Excuse me?" She asked, looking surprised. I wasn't usually the type of student to complain about partners and what not.

"I can't work with Eli." I told her.

"Well, Clare, I'm sorry to hear that, but it's too late in the assignment for me to be switching around partners. You'll just have to settle your differences." She told me. She looked apologetic.

"There's no other option?" I asked, desperate. I didn't want to have to spend any more time alone with him. I didn't want to give him a chance to be mean to me again, or to question the shouts he hears yesterday.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said. I stormed out of the room. Well, I did the Clare Edwards version of storming, which pretty much meant that I didn't give her my cheery goodbye as I left.

Since I didn't have a choice, I went to the library at our scheduled time to meet Eli. I waited in the back room where we usually worked. At six o'clock, I started to think he wasn't going to show. By half past six, I realized he definitely wasn't coming. I'd tucked my hair back and was putting my notebooks and pen back in my bag when he walked in.

"So, you finally decided to show up?" I asked, kind of snippy. I was a little upset. I'd been waiting for two hours for him.

"I figured if you didn't want me here, why show up. But then I realized that you're the kind of girl who would sit here and wait until closing for me, so I came to tell you to go home." He said, his eyes narrowed.

"Don't want you here?" I repeated.

"I heard you talking to Ms. Dawes." He replied.

I looked down, embarrassed. "Eli I-"

"Save it, Clare. I get it. I wouldn't want to be partners with me either." He said, giving me a sardonic smile.

"That's not it. I-" I paused. "I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day. It's not you..."

"'It's me'?"

I narrowed my eyes, and he went to sit down at the table, across from me.

"Clare!" He exclaimed suddenly.

"What?" I asked, my eyes wide. I looked around, sure that someone was coming to attack me or something. "Eli, what's wrong?"

"What happened?" He asked.

"What happened?" I repeated. "Well, you freak and yelled my name-"

"No, to your face." He said, eying the bruise.

I instinctively covered it with my hand. My eyes narrowed.

"Softball to the face in gym." I replied. "No biggie."

"You seem to be getting a lot of gym injuries." He said, eyes narrowing, looking pissed off and suspicious.

"You can't just do that, Eli." I said, suddenly angry.

"Do what?"

"Expect me to spill my life story when you don't open up to anyone!" I shouted, standing up.

"Clare." He said, outstretching his hand towards me.

"No, Eli." I said, pulling away from him. "When you're ready to be honest with me, then you can ask questions. Until then, leave me alone."

And this time I really did storm out.

I walked home, thinking over everything that had happened.

I really shouldn't have flipped on Eli. I liked Eli. Yeah, I admit it. I liked Eli, as a friend anyways. He wasn't so bad to be around when he was in an alright mood.

And now he probably hates me. I deserved it, of course. I really wasn't that mad at Eli. It's just... somethings I couldn't share. And my mom and dads fighting was one of those things.


	8. Chapter 8

"Clare!" Eli called down the hall. I was walking towards English class. He was walking towards me.

I ignored him. He jogged towards me, but before he could reach me, someone walked into him and Eli's backpack fell off his shoulders and onto the floor, spilling some of it's contents.

I bit my lip. God, I really was a saint. I bent down and helped Eli clean up his things. I was just putting one of his pens back in his bag when I spotted them. I grabbed the bag, Eli raising his eyebrows at me. I took it and walked out of the school.

Eli jogged after me. I turned and faced the annoyed expression on his face once we were outside.

"What the hell, Edwards?" He asked, grabbing for the bag.

"No." I said, pulling the bag out of his reach. His eyes narrowed.

"You're going to be late for glass." He said, probably thinking that would send me running. Normal it would. Not this time.

"I don't care." I told him, and walked down the street. He followed me.

"What gives?" He asked. "Field trip?"

"No, Eli, this isn't for fun." I said angrily.

"Seems like it. Missing school, hanging out. That screams fun, but I'm sure you don't really know the definition." He said, trying to lighten the mood.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked him.

"Many things, probably. Why?"

I finally stopped, plopped myself down on a bench, and faced him. I reached my hand into the bag and pulled out the bag of pills I'd found in there. The smile on Eli's face instantly disappeared. He paled, his eyes narrowing. He reached out to grab the pills but I pulled them far from his reach.

"Explain." I said, looking directly in his eyes. "And don't you dare lie to me."

"They're prescribed." He said angrily, reaching for them. "Not that it's any of your business."

"I said not to lie to me." I said repeated, and again pulled the bag of pills away from him. "If they're prescription, where's the bottle, Eli? People with prescriptions keep them in the bottle, and I'm sure you know that. If you get caught with them like this you get in a lot of trouble."

"Fine. They're not prescription. I have a problem, okay?" He said. His eyes followed the pills angrily.

"Lies again, Eli." I said, and his face flushed. A tell tale sign that I was right again. "You and I both know you're not addicted to pills."

"Then what do you think they are for, Clare? Say it, for gods sake!" He shouted. I was glad there was no one around to notice the two fighting teenagers, one holding a bag of narcotics.

"You're upset." I stated.

"Obviously." He replied.

"About Julia."

"Even more obvious." He replied again.

"And she's the reason why you tried to kill yourself."

"Again, obvious-" He cut off and glared at me. "I said I didn't want to talk about it, Clare!"

"And then the thing with Jen last night." I continued.

"I'm not going to kill myself." He said, looking away.

"Than what are they for, Eli?" He didn't look at me. "Tell me!"

"FINE! I have them in case I can't take it anymore." He said quietly. "I have them in case I feel like I used to again. Because I couldn't handle that, Clare. I can't handle that. And I won't."

"Eli..." I said, looking at him in a new light. "I'm sorry."

"Why would you be? You have nothing to be sorry for, Clare." He said, and turned to me, a sardonic smile on his face " Saint Clare. What could you ever be sorry for?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Eli." I said, and with that I stood up and strode down the street. Eli followed.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "And are you going to give those back?"

"No. If I did, then I _would_ have something to be sorry for, Eli." I said, and then stepped inside the Police Department. Eli looked up at the sign, and realization flashed across his face.

I walked up to the front desk and placed the pills there. "I found these on my walk to school." I said. "I didn't know what to do with them so... here."

The man questioned me about where I'd found them, and I made up some story. Then Eli and I were free to leave.

"You really think, if I was that dead set on killing myself, that you can stop me, Clare?" He asked as we walked back to school.

"No, but I'm going to try." I said stubbornly. "Saint Clare, remember? It's part of the rule book."

That got a smile out of him. Not the kind that lit up his face, but a smile none of the less.

"I'm really not going to kill myself." He said after a few minutes of silence.

I stopped and looked into his eyes. There was no sign that he was lying. "Really."

"Really. I'm starting to see that there's some things in life that are worth living for." He said.

I think that the Eli Goldsworthy roller coaster was starting to give me butterflies.

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><p><strong>I think I see a kiss coming up in the near future. REVIEW! :D And a special thanks to DegrassiLuver. Thanks for all the reviews! - C<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

"So tonight, " Eli was saying as we walked down the hall in school. "I was thinking. Maybe we could work at my place."

"Really?" I said, surprised. "Why the change of place?"

He shrugged. "I figure that if I bring a pretty girl home, they'll stop pestering me about getting over Julia."

"So you're using me now?" I joked, but I felt a small pang of annoyance.

"No. We do have to get this assignment done." He said with a smile.

"Do you think it's possible?" I asked.

"To get it done? For sure." He laughed.

"Not the assignment. I meant getting over Julia." I asked. I kept my voice low, not watching to upset him.

Eli bristled. "I don't know." He replied, not meeting my eyes. "Maybe I don't _want_ to. Can't any one understand that? I don't _want_ to forget her. And I definitely don't want to set myself up for that again."

"Eli, what happened was-"

"You don't even know what happened Clare. Don't pretend that you do." He said angrily.

"I wasn't-"

"I know. I'm sorry. Touchy subject, okay?" He said. I nodded, and he headed towards his next class while I headed towards mine.

Eli had obviously forgotten my questioning by the time school was over, because he pulled Morty up in front of me and smiled, gesturing for me to get in.

"Don't you have to go to counseling first?" I asked, but slid in before he answered.

"Not tonight. I get a free night every week. I chose tonight." He said. I nodded.

We drove in comfortable silence. Eventually we pulled up in front of a brick house. It was nice, but nothing fancy. Kind of like my own house.

"I'm warning you in advanced. My parents are... a little out there." He said. I turned to look at him sharply. He laughed. "Don't worry, they aren't going to try to make you join a convent or anything."

"I didn't-"

"Just be yourself. They'll love you." He said.

I doubted that, but followed him inside the house anyways. There was music playing, something rockish, but it wasn't deafening the way it was in Eli's car. It was just a bit of background music.

"Eli, hun, is that you?" Called a female from somewhere to the left.

A woman, who I assumed to be CeeCee stepped out and gave Eli a hug. She was blonde and pretty, and had a few tattoos on her arms.

"You must be Clare!" She exclaimed and hugged me as well. For a woman who looked so... tough, she was awfully huggy. "I can tell by the eyes."

"The eyes?" I asked, confused.

"Eli told us you had the prettiest blue eyes." She mock whispered, giving me a wink. I blushed.

"I did not." Eli said, looking annoyed and embarrassed. "Where's Bullfrog?"

"Your father's at work, of course." She said. "Do you want anything to drink, Clare? A snack?"

"Um, I'm fine." I declined.

"We're just going to go in my room, okay?" Eli said, and headed upstairs.

"Sure, sure." She called as we pounded up the stairs.

Eli led me into his room. The walls were dark, covered by some sort of deep red fabric that was only a shade away from being black. There was a bed, covered in a black bedspread. There was posters all over the wall. There was a small, black painted desk against the wall covered in white skulls.

"It's very..." I trailed off, not sure how to describe his room exactly.

"Me?" Eli suggested.

I nodded. "Yeah, you. That about sums it up." I said with a laugh. "Where do I... sit?"

Eli patted a spot on his bed as he flopped down onto it.

I gingerly placed myself on the corner of the bed farthest from him. He looked at me, amusement in his expression.

"You know, I don't bite. Unless, given your choice of books, you like that kind of thing?" He said. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Sorry. Couldn't resist."

"Whatever, Eli." I said, then moved to get more comfortable, crossing my legs. "What's your favorite colour?"

I pulled out my books, ready to write everything done.

Eli glanced around the room than raised his eyes at me.

"Right." I said, and scribbled down the word 'black'. "Food?"

Eli looked thoughtful for a second. "Spaghetti."

"Favorite childhood memory?"

Eli was silent for about a minute before he responded. "When I was little, my parents brought my to the zoo." He started. "There was these lions. I remember being in awe. They were so awesome. So I begged and begged my parents to let me see them."

I raised my eyebrows but let him continue.

"Anyways, being the parents they are, they saw nothing wrong with it. They convinced to let the lion tamer take me into the cage with him. He taught me a basic move, how to make the lions sit and trust me, and said I was the best lion tamer he'd ever saw. So then they hired me and I became assistant lion tamer and I was in the circus for about three years before finally transferring to Degrassi to finish school."

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

"I was being serious, Eli. This is important." I said, and I playfully smacked his arm.

"That _was_ serious. People don't joke about being lion tames, Clare. That's just not normal."

"And you're the king of normal, right?" I asked, laughing.

"Of course."

"If any of us are normal, it's me." I told him.

"Fine then, you can be my queen."

"Okay, so in all seriousness. I need something to go on here, Eli. I need three whole pages on _you_ and you're not making it easy.

"What do you really want to know, Clare?" He asked, leaning towards me. I stared at those green eyes for a few seconds before snapping back to reality.

"Tell me about your parents." I said, and he smiled.

"Well, I told you my dad works for a radio station, right? He's one of the people who announces what songs come on, and does all the talking." Eli explained. "His job is awesome. He gets tickets to almost every show. They hold these really cool fundraisers sometimes, where bands play and stuff."

"It does sound fun." I admitted, smiling back at Eli.

"And then mom, she sometimes goes on the show, but mostly she's just a stay at home mom. She's a little overbearing, in case you didn't notice, but she loves me. A lot." And suddenly his smile went away. "I think I broke there hearts a little."

"When you tried to..." I trailed off, not wanting to say the words.

"I don't remember what happened when they found me, but when I woke up I remember seeing my mother standing over my bed at the hospital. She was crying, and so was dad. He never cries. It made me feel terrible." He said quietly. " But what made it worse was the fact that I didn't regret it. I didn't, not at all. I was in such a bad place at that time that I thought the only escape was death."

"Do you still feel like that?" I asked, looking up into his sad eyes.

"I don't know. Not all the time, like I used to, but sometimes." He admitted. "When I'm really happy, it hits me hard. It's like, why should I be happy when she's gone? If it wasn't for me she _wouldn't_ be gone, and here I am, laughing and smiling and betraying her."

"You're not betraying her." I told him.

"Yes, I am Clare. You couldn't understand..."

"Then explain it to me." I said gently. "I want to understand."

Eli smiled his sardonic smile again. "No Clare, you really don't. "

"How do you know what I want?" I asked, annoyed.

"Because you don't know me. You think you do, but you don't. You want to save me from myself because that's what you do, Clare. You save people." He said, his eyes boring into my soul. "But some people can't be saved."

"I-"

"I think you should go." He said, and closed his eyes, throwing an arm over his head.

"Alright. Let me know when you're done pushing me away." I said, and left.

I was halfway down the street when I realized I'd left all my papers on Eli's bed. Shit. There was things in there I didn't want him to read. I'd been scribing things down for the past couple of days, and I knew that at least once I'd accidental written something poetic about those eyes of his.

And even though I didn't know Eli that well, I was pretty sure he'd read them.

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><p><strong>Tell me what you think! Hit that reply button, people! :D Nothing is better than getting an awesome review. Except maybe watching Degrassi! ;) - C<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

When I got home no one was there. It was quiet. Weird.

I went up stairs, looking for mom. It was normal for dad to be gone, but mom was almost always home. I went into her room and softly called her name. No answer. I entered her bedroom looking around. Something was very, very wrong. I went into my room and sat on the bed. The sound of crumpling paper made me stand up again.

There was a note on my bed. I picked it up. It was in moms hand writing

_Clare_

_You know that I love you, and your sister, with my entire heart. But your father and I... It's not good for us to be in the same city anymore, let alone the same house. I know that once I'm gone things will calm down. Perhaps go back to normal._

_I'll get a hold of you in a few weeks. Please find it in your heart to forgive me._

_ You're in my prayers,_

_ Mom._

Oh my god. This has to be a joke. It _has_ to be a joke. I bolted out of my room and into my parents'.

I threw open the closet. It was empty, except for my father clothing. There wasn't an article of hers left, not a shirt, a pair of pants, a shoe. Nothing. I opened their drawers. Same thing. No clothes, none of her jewelry. She'd even taken her perfume with her.

How could she do this? How could she think this would _fix_ things. It would only make things worse. Oh, god, please don't let him come home tonight.

I didn't want to have to see his reaction to her absence. Dad would flip. He'd go ballistic. And I'd be the only one here for him to take it out on.

But what could I do?

I was just thinking about the options. Maybe go to Alli's, but I realized that if I did, when I came back he'd been even more angry. I heard the front door open and my heart pounded.

I turned off my light and climbed into bed. If I pretended to be sleeping, I thought he would leave me alone.

Boy, had I been wrong.

"Where is she?" Dad shouted as he barreled into my room. I sat up straight in bed.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not wanting to let on that I knew anything.

"Your bitch of a mother, where the hell did she go?" He demanded.

"I don't know." I said, not lying.

"Her stuffs gone. I know she wouldn't go without telling you. So tell me, where is she?" When I didn't reply, he came towards me and dragged me out of bed.

The old bruise on my arm throbbed.

"I don't know!" I screamed. A tear slid down my face. "She didn't tell me!"

Dad pushed my to the ground.

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled. I felt his foot connect with my ribs. Once, twice, three times. I was screaming in pain by now but he didn't react. There was none of the love in his eyes that there used to be, back when we were all a family and loved each other. Back when I would come home from kindergarten, crying because a boy had picked on me. He had picked me up, twirled me around and promised not to let any one hurt me again.

Way to keep that promise, Dad.

"I'm n-not lying." I said through my tears.

Another kick, this time in the face. That one hurt more than the others.

"You better hope I don't find out you're lying." He told me, and left the room.

I stood up as soon as I could. It took a minute. My body resisted the movement. I think one of my ribs was broken. I looked around, listened. Dad was downstairs. Good.

I quickly searched my closet for one of my old camp duffel bags. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I packed an a couple of outfits. Then I grabbed the picture of my mom, my father, Darcy, and me.

It broke my heart a little to look at it, but I shoved it in the bag anyways. When I heard the basement door open and then close, and my father thump down the stairs, I ran. I bolted down the hallway, down the stairs, and out the door.

And then I realized I had nowhere to go.

Alli's parents were _strict_. There was no way they would allow me to stay there. Even if I explained the situation, they would send me to the police and I'd be put in a group home or something. And I didn't have anyone else close to me that I could run too.

Except... possibly... Eli.

It was crazy. We weren't even friends. And yet... I couldn't see any other option. Maybe he'd say no, or his parents were, but I had a feeling they wouldn't object. Eli was the only problem.

But I had no other options, so I held onto my bag and walked in the direction of Eli's house.

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><p><strong>Oooh, dramatic chapter! This story definitely needs some comic relief... or possibly romantic relief? ;) Guess we'll see next chapter! Review, pretty, pretty, pretty please? Oh, look. Now I'm begging. :P - C<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

I got to Eli's house and suddenly panicked. There wasn't a single light on at the front of the house. But I remembered Eli's bedroom being at the back. Feeling like some kind of creepy stalker, I walked around the house, praying that his parents didn't wake up and call the police.

I looked around, found a small rock, and, despite the pain in my ribs, tossed it at his window. About a minute, and three rocks, later, Eli came to the window and threw it open.

"Clare?" He shouted down.

"Can you let me in?" I asked. I felt so stupid. We weren't even _friends_. Yet here I was, at his house in the middle of the night begging to come in. He must think I'm crazy.

Yet he nodded and disappeared from the window. I went around front and waited on the front porch, biting my lip. Eventually Eli came down in just a pair of pajama bottoms. He just stared at me for a few moments.

He was probably cataloging the bruises on my face. Instead of saying anything, he just gestured for me to come in, and motioned me to be quiet as we headed up the stairs. Eli flicked on his light and sat down on the bed. I joined him, but didn't lift my eyes to his.

"Clare, what happened?" He asked softly.

I looked up at him finally. There was concern shinning in those green eyes of his. So much of it that I felt tears prickle my eyes.

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want him to judge me for all that's happened.

"Clare, you've got to learn to open up." He said, his tone changing from caring to angry. "You said you wouldn't ever let me kill myself, and I won't let you kill yourself."

"What?" I asked, finally speaking. "I'm not trying to kill myself."

"Not, but your letting yourself get hurt, which could lead to something worse." He said, his eyes hard, staring into mine.

"My mom left." I told him. "My dad hits her. And sometimes me. She thought if she was gone it would make him happy. Instead, he went ballistic and... attacked me. Worse than he ever has before."

"Claire, I-"

"Can I stay here tonight?" I asked. I didn't want to discuss my mom and dad anymore.

"Of course." He said. "But you're going to have to do something about this all eventually, Clare."

"I know just... not tonight. Please?"

Suddenly something slipped under Eli's door. We both looked at it, confused. I stood up, went to the door and picked it up.

It was a note. I read it out loud to Eli.

"Heard you had a friend over. Be safe!- Love mom." I read, and then flicked the attached condom at him. We both burst out laughing. Normally I would be uncomfortable about this kind of thing, really. But right now... it was just really funny.

"Your parents are... something, Eli." I said when I could finally catch my breath. "They're not even going to give you trouble for having a random girl in your room in the middle of the night?"

"First, you're not random. My mom met you, and she liked you. Second of all... I'm such a stud that they're pretty used to it." He said, giving me a cocky smirk.

I yawned. "I'm so sure, Eli." I said sarcastically. "Don't kill me if I keep it out of the essay, okay?"

"Tired?" He asked.

"A little." I said, and stifled another yawn.

"Do you want to sleep in here? I can go crash on the couch." He offered.

I bit my lip. I didn't want to kick him out of his own room... but I couldn't stay the night in _bed _ with him. Right?

"Can't we both stay in here?" I asked. Then I silently cursed myself.

"Are you sure you're allowed to do that, Saint Clare?" He asked, amusement in his eyes.

No. "Yes." It's not like anything's going to happen...

"Alright." Eli said slowly. "Do you need pajamas to wear?"

"I have some, thank you." I told him. "Um, the bathroom is...?"

"Right at the end of the hall." He told me.

I nodded and went to change. I came back and the lights were off. I assumed Eli was already asleep and slowly made my way towards the bed. I felt awkward. I'd never shared a bed with a boy before. If my mom saw me now, she'd probably kill me...

I crawled into bed and rested my head on the pillow.

"Hey, Eli?" I asked softly.

"Mmm." He replied. I laughed. He was already half asleep.

"Thanks." I told him.

"No problem, Clare-bear."

And with that, we fell asleep.

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><p><strong>Kind of short chapter, but the next one should be up pretty soon. REVIEW, PEOPLE! We're almost at twenty reviews now! Keep 'em coming, please! - C<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

I woke up with my head on Eli's bare chest, his arms wrapped around me. I didn't know how we'd gotten like that. When I fell asleep we'd both been laying in the opisite direction.

Against my better judgment, I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep. I liked the feeling of someone's body beside mine. It was comforting.

"Mmnnn." Eli mumbled. I tried very hard not to laugh. Suddenly his arms around me tightened. Had it not been for the bruises on my ribs I don't think I would have minded.

As it was, I let out a small yelp of pain, causing Eli to awaken. He pushed himself up into sitting position and I leaned away from him and did the same.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, ignoring me.

"A little. But it's fine now." I told him. I could feel a blush crawling it's way into my cheeks. I had been cuddling. With _Eli_. And, I admitted, I liked it.

"Were you cuddling with me?" He asked, smiling.

"No!" I said quickly. I blushed even harder. "Not on purpose. I don't remember doing that, anyways."

"Are you sure? It has nothing to do with my, how did you put it, "Deep, beautiful green eyes that shine with so much light when I smile"?"

I let out a tiny, quiet shriek of outrage. "You did _not _read my stuff, Eli!"

"Yeah, actually, I kind of did. You left them out in the open. Anyone would have done it." He said with a small laugh at my expense.

"That was personal." I said angrily.

"Don't be embarrassed." He said, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered on my cheek, eventually falling back down to the bed.

"How could I not be?" I asked him.

"Give me a second." He said, standing up. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a sheet of paper. "It's not done, but this is what I have so far."

I took the paper, curious. The top of it read Clare Edwards. It must have been his essay. Or the beginning of it, anyways.

_Clare Edwards is one of the most interesting people I've ever had the chance to meet._

_Clare has beautiful blue eyes that shine when she smiles. When she's angry, they flash like storm clouds filled with lightening._

_Clare is the kind of girl that is too sweet for her own good. From what I've seen, she accepts the bad in people along with the good. But she's not afaid to put you in your place if she thinks you're in the wrong. She tries to help others but doesn't take the time to help herself._

_She also has a horrible addiction to terrible sparkly vampire movies... Probably her biggest downside._

"You just can't let the twilight thing go, can you?" I asked him. I was still blushing from the essay. He hadn't gotten much down, but it was enough to put butterflies in my stumach.

"Seriously? Out of all of that, _that_ is the one part you hold on to?" He asked, smiling.

"You think my eyes are beautiful?" I asked, looking down.

Eli leaned towards me. He put his hand back on my cheek.

"You have the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen, Clare." He said, and then pressed his lips to mine.

I was so surprised that I didn't even move. Eli pulled back, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry, I thought-"

I cut him off, pressing my lips to his this time. He was so gentle, his lips soft against mine. There was something so... electrical in that kiss. I'd kissed K.C. a few times, sure, but those kisses were nothing like this one. There was passion in this kiss, even though both Eli and I were holding back.

I realized that I had been feeling something for Eli for awhile, but it took his lips on mine to make me understand what it was, exactly, that I'd been feeling.

My lips parted slightly and Eli's tongue reached out to meet mine. His hand slid down my arm, then onto my waist, pulling me closer to him. I didn't fight it, instead I wrapped my own arms around his neck, threading my hands through his hair.

"Do you guys want any break-" Eli's mom said, standing in the doorway. Eli and I pulled away from each other, me with my cheeks burning in embarrassment. "Oh, sorry. You kids have fun!"

She shut the door behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally got to the first kiss! Sorry for it taking so long! But now that they've shared the first kiss, I'm sure there's going to be many more to come! WOO! :D Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top, REVIEW!- C<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

I stood up, removing myself from Eli's bed, my cheeks burning.

"I, um, need to take a shower. Is it okay if I-?"

"Yeah, go ahead. There's towels in there. Just take one." He said, giving me a small smile.

I felt uncomfortable sleeping in bed with a guy, fully clothed, well, _I _had been fully clothed anyways. Yet I was totally comfortable getting completely naked and taking a shower in his house.

I walked into the bathroom, locked the door and grabbed a towel. I stripped out of my clothes and turned on the water. I didn't get in right away. Instead I surveyed the damage.

It didn't even look like my body. There was only a few patches on my stomach and chest area that you could actually see skin on. The rest was a scattering of blue, green and purple. It made my stomach churn.

My face wasn't much better. The bruise from a couple days ago had turned a gross yellow green colour, and the new one overlapped it with purple. It was a disturbing combination.

Once I decided there was no point gaping at myself in horror, and running up Eli's water bill, I jumped in the shower.

I came out of the bathroom fully clothed in fresh, warm clothing and stepping into Eli's room, my hair still damp, ringlets hanging everywhere.

Eli was standing with his back to me. I walked over to him and saw he was holding a picture. In the photo he was standing with his arms around a girl who looked identical to Jen. She was staring out the photo, not smiling, looking sullen. Eli wasn't even looking at the camera. He was gazing lovingly at the girl who I presumed to be Julia.

I gently put a hand on his arm and he jerked away from. His eyes were guarded, his mouth set in a grim line.

"What happened... earlier, that was a mistake." He said quietly. "We both know it."

"A mistake." I repeated, my mouth going dry.

"We were both upset, and our emotions were working double time." He said. "We don't actually _like_ each other, it's just we were the only ones there and we both needed to let out some of those feelings."

For a second it felt like I was back at my house, my dad kicking my in the stomach. Why? Why did he have to do this?

"God damn it, Eli!" I said, not caring I was taking the lords name in vain. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"A lot, actually." He said, not giving me the usual smirk I would expect to come after saying something like that.

I grabbed my bag off his floor.

"I'm sure Alli will let me stay at her house." I said quietly.

"That's probably for the best, Clare." He said, and didn't meet my eyes.

That was probably a good thing, because I could feel tears prickling them.

"Leave me alone until you decide you're done jerking me around, Eli." I said angrily. What pissed me off even more was that my voice broke at the end, and you could hear the unshed tears in my voice.

Eli didn't reply. He didn't even look at me.

I walked downstairs, passing Ceecee on my way out.

"Thank you for letting me stay over." I said quietly.

"Is everything okay, Clare?" She asked.

Normally I would have just said yeah, I was fine, nothing was wrong, but I didn't.

"No." I said quietly. "Eli... Well, you saw what happened earlier. Apparently it was a big mistake."

Ceecee's gave me a sad smile. "Eli's difficult. I know that better than anyone. But he likes you, Clare." She told me.

"Doesn't feel like it." I replied, eyes downcast.

"Did he tell you about Julia?" She asked.

"Yeah, he mentioned that she died." I said quietly.

"But I bet he didn't mention how."

"No, not really."

"**They got in a fight one night while they were driving. She got out of the car, and left." She started slowly. There was tears in here eyes now. "She got his by a car a few minutes later. Some drunk driver who wasn't paying attention. Eli blames himself, which is why he can't let go over her."**

**I felt my eyes widen. He never told me that. He didn't mention once that it was all his fault that she was dead, but I'd never really thought into it.**

**"But that's an accident. He couldn't have possibly-"**

**"I know that. Everyone knows that. Except for Eli." She said, and laid a soft hand on my arm. "I haven't seen him in such a good mood in a long time, until you came around. Please, don't give up on him Clare. I know it might not be easy, but he really is a good boy. He just... feels like he's betraying her by liking you, by kissing you."**

**I nodded. The tears that threatened to pool over earlier finally did.**

**"Y**ou don't have to leave, either. If you need somewhere to stay..." She trailed off. Her eyes were glued to the bruises on my face. I forgot to pull my hair over them.

"It's nothing-"

"Don't worry. I won't go to the police if you're not ready to, but I can't just let you go back to that." She said softly. "What kind of mother would I be if I did?"

Eli's mom was a great example of "You can't judge a book by it's cover".

"I don't really think Eli would appreciate that."

"It's a good thing Eli's not the one offering then, isn't it?" She said with a smile.

I nodded. "I don't want to go back." I said softly. "And anywhere else I go will make me go to the police. I can't- I can't do that yet. I'm just... not ready."

She grabbed my bag and put it on the ground. "Come on, then. I find making deserts takes your mind off unpleasant thoughts." She said, and led me to the kitchen.

I smiled through the tears. Eli was so lucky to have such a great family. I thought back to when he was telling me about his parents, the pride and love he'd had in his voice.

It was well deserved.

* * *

><p><strong>Damn that boy and his conflicting emotions, eh? Sorry for making this one so not happy after the elation of the kiss from the last chapter. But come on, we both know this isn't the end of Eclare! Don't hate me! - Also, I won't be updating as much. I'm obsessively watching old seasons of Degrassi. I'm currently on season 3. I've got to say, I'm so so so sad that Ellie is gone. She's definitely got to be on of my FAVORITE old characters. Anyways, share your thoughts with a review! - C<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

Cooking with Ceecee was definitely therapeutic. Before we even started she had me laughing. Picture this: Tall, middle aged woman with bleached blonde hair, a bunch of tattoos and a good amount of eyeliner... in a pink apron. It just looked so out of place on her.

"What's yours favorite desert?" She asked. "Cookies, cake, cupcakes, pie?"

"You can make _pie_?" I asked. I felt bad for sounding so surprised. My mom never made pies, she always just bought them and popped them in the oven.

"The best pies are made from scratch." She said, giving me a small laugh.

I thought back to when Eli and I had been talking about our favorite foods for the essay. I remember when I asked him his favorite desert, he'd said apple pie.

"Can we make apple pie?" I asked.

"Sure." She said. "I'm sure Eli will like that too."

"Hopefully." I said quietly.

Baking was... fun. It was something my mother and I had never done together. Darcy and I had tried to make cookies once, but they were disastrous. You could have used them as a door jam.

While we were waiting for the apple pie to cook, Ceecee and I sat down, drinking coffee. Mine was a triple triple, hers was black, which was something that I had expected but still surprised me. Sometimes it was hard to forget that Ceecee was some kind of punk-rock woman.

"Can you tell me who did that to you?" She asked.

I looked down, debating if I was going to answer.

"My dad." I finally said quietly.

She laid a hand on my arm. "That's terrible, hunny." She said, equally quiet.

I nodded. "He used to only do it when he was drunk. It started out with him just hitting my mom. But then he started on me too. Lately he's been doing it sober. My mom... she left last night. That's why it's so bad today. He flipped." I told her. I felt uncomfortable sharing, but Ceecee was... a comforting person, as hard to believe as that is. "I had no where else to go, so I came here."

"I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to come here, Clare." She said. "And you're welcome to stay as long as you need. But you're going to have to tell someone eventually. Someone with more power than I have. The police."

"I know." I sighed. "I just... He's still my dad, you know? I love him. Despite it all, no matter how stupid it is, he's still my father."

"It will be hard, and I know you love him, but you can't let someone hurt you like this. No matter who they are. All right?" She asked. When I nodded, she continued. "You're strong. You'll be okay."

And for a second, I felt strong.

"Oh!" She cried, jumping up. She ran to the over and pulled the pie out. "It's finished. We'll just let it sit, then we can taste all our hard work."

I smiled.

Ten minutes later I held two plates of apple pie while I stood outside Eli's door. I could hear music blaring through it, something angry with a lot of bass and drums.

I knocked, softly at first, but eventually harder so it could be heard over the music. The music got quieter.

"What, mom?" Eli asked angrily through the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked, hesitantly.

I didn't get an answer, but eventually Eli opened the door and then walked back to the bed he'd been laying on.

"I thought you went to Alli's." He said, not a question, a statement.

"I brought a peace offering?" I said, my voice small and slightly afraid.

He was probably going to yell at me.

"Apple pie?" He asked. "You made apple pie?"

"Well, your mom did, mostly. I helped."

"You were with me mom." He said flatly.

Since he didn't kick me out right away, I took that as a good sign and flopped down on the edge of her bed.

"We had a talk." I told him while handing him the pie. I took a bite of my own. It was perfect.

"About what?" He asked. He sounded calm, but one look at his face told me he was anything but.

"My dad. You. Julia." I said softly.

"So she told you then." He said, his voice coming out raw and strained. "That I killed her."

"Eli, it was an _accident_." I said, pleading for him to understand.

"No, it wasn't. If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have gotten upset. She wouldn't have got out of that car. She'd still _be_ here." He sounded so heartbroken that I expected to see tears in his eyes. I didn't. All I saw was self hatred and anger.

"You couldn't have known a drunk driver would hit her. That's not something you can control." I told him. "You need to stop blaming yourself."

"I can't!" He said, standing up. "Every time I go to sleep I see her. I see her getting out of the car, and even though I shout for her to stop, to not go, she still does. And then I get to watch her get hit by that car. I see her lying there, not moving. Her arms and legs twisted in a position that shouldn't be possible. I see the blood trickling out of her mouth. And I see that her chest isn't moving. She isn't breathing. I see her just... gone."

"Every single night?" I asked. I was horrified. I couldn't imagine going through something like that just the first time, let alone replaying it every night.

"Every night since she died. Except for last night." He said, his voice getting quieter by the end.

"Why not last night?" I asked softly.

"Because you distract me!" He shouted. "That's why I can't be with you, Clare. When I'm with you, I forget sometimes. I forget about Julia, and I forget what happened to her."

"Moving on isn't a horrible thing, Eli."

"It feels like it."

"Then let's just be friends." I said, smiling hopefully at him. "I don't want to not talk to you anymore. You're the only person I really _can_ talk to. I need that. I need _you_."

I blushed. I hadn't meant to say that much, but it was already out there. No taking it back.

"But I can't be just friends with you. Don't you get that?" He asked. "You're so... good, and pure. You know what the say, "Darkness to light" or whatever. That's what it's like. You make me feel like everything's going to be alright. And I like that. I like that you can make me feel that. But I _shouldn't_ be feeling that."

"So you don't want to be friends with me... because I make you happy." I concluded.

"Something like that." He said, smirking for a second before he became sullen again.

"But-" I said, standing up.

"Clare, us being friends won't _work_."

"Fine." I said, taking a step towards him. He didn't move backwards. "Then let's not be friends."

And then I kissed him. Gently at first, but when I felt him react, I kissed him more passionately. My lips parted and I grabbed at his waist, pulling him towards me. It was a bitter sweet kiss, salty from the tears that ran down his face. He hadn't cried before, but now he finally let the tears go. Eli's hands caressed my face, knotting his hands in my hair and holding me to him. I pulled back, and he wrapped those arms around my waist and mine went around him as well.

I don't know how long we stood there just holding each other. It could have been seconds, but it felt like hours.

* * *

><p><strong>D'aw, so cute, yet so depressing. As much as I love the lovey-dovey Eclare, next chapter isn't going to have as much of it because I feel like we've mostly had just cutesy wootsey stuff for the last few chapters. We need something to happen. Just warning you guys! -C<strong>

**PS. I'm not one to demand reviews, but if we get to thirty tonight, I may or may not post one or two more chapters tonight. ;) Just sayin'. I might end up posting one or two _anyways_ but those reviews will definitely get me more motivated. **


	15. Chapter 15

"Are you sure you're okay to do this?" Eli asked. We were sitting outside of my house in Eli's car. I'd asked him if it was okay if we went to my house for a bit. Just so I could grab my text books, and a few pieces of clothing.

If I was planning on staying anywhere but my house, I needed some things. More than just the outfit, pair of pajamas and picture I'd grabbed when I'd run away.

"I'll be fine." I reassured him. "He's at work. His car isn't even here. I'll get in, get out, and we'll go. Promise."

Eli laid his hand on mine. "Alright. Just be careful. Scream if you need me, okay?"

"I'm not going to. No one's here." I said with a slight smile.

"I can come in with you." He started. I could tell he was going to say more, but I cut him off.

"It'll go faster if I go myself. If we take to long we risk him coming home. I'll be _right_ back." I said and got out of the hearse before he could come up with more reasons why this was a bad idea.

I went to the front door and tried to pull it open. It was locked. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my keys. I slipped one in the door and popped it open. I stood in the threshold for a few seconds, readying myself.

I stepped in and slowly closed the door behind me. It was dark inside, since no one was home. I looked arond. The place looked pretty much how I left it. Except for the fact that every family picture in the house had been smashed to pieces.

I shuddered and ran upstairs. I looked around for a duffel bag. Once I found one, I filled it with the clothes I wear the most, and my school books. When I was done I headed down the stairs.

But something was different.

There was a light on.

"Hello?" I called softly. Then I almost smacked myself. If someone _was_ here, it would be my dad. I didn't need him to know I was here. I ran towards the door but something stopped me.

"Clare?" Called a voice from the direction of the basement. I froze.

It wasn't my fathers voice.

"Mom?" I replied. I walked towards the basement door. There was three deadbolt locks on it, all requiring a key. "Are you in there?"

"Clare, go. Please! Before he realizes you're here. Call the police. Just _go_!" She said frantically.

"I can't leave you!" I cried softly. "Are you hurt?"

She didn't answer for a second. I figured she was debating on telling me exactly how hurt she was.

"Yes." She finally said. "But you can't help me if you stay here. You need to go and get help." She urged me.

"Okay, I'm getting help. Hold on, mom." I told her.

I hurried towards the door and had my hand on the door nob when I was yanked backwards by the collar of my shirt.

"You're not going anywhere, Clare-bear." My dad said from behind me. It didn't even sound like him, though. It sounded like someone else. A monster.

"D-dad." I said, extremely frightened. "I was just going over to Ali's."

"Don't lie to me!" He said, and turned me around and slapped me. Then he grabbed both my wrists in his hands. "You're not leaving me either. Your mom and your sister already did, but I'm not letting you."

"But you have mom, she's home!" I said, trying to get him to release me.

"Only because I dragged her ass back here." He said. He put both of my wrists in one hand and with the other he pulled out a key chain.

I struggled, trying to pull away, figuring if he was only using one hand this was the chance I had to escape. But I couldn't. His hand was huge, and the grip he had on me was too strong.

He tugged me towards the basement door and unlocked the first lock.

"No, dad. I wasn't leaving." I told him. I was trying to convince him I wouldn't go. "I _wouldn't_ leave. I love you."

"No." He said angrily. "You and your mother and your sister. You all try to leave me."

He unlocked the second lock and started on the third.

"Please, dad. I don't want to go down there. How about we talk this through? Please?" I begged.

The third lock opened and the basement door popped open. He shoved me inside and I fell down the stairs. Mom was right there at the top and tried to catch me but she couldn't. So instead she lunged at dad. He just reached out a hand and backhanded her across the face, making her join me at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't move.

I sat up slowly as the door closed.

"Mom?" I asked. "Mom, answer me!"

I nudged her arm but she didn't answer.

"Please." I sobbed. "Wake up!"

When she didn't answer, I panicked. What if she was... no. She would be fine.

"ELI!" I screamed. "Eli! Please here me!" I shouted.

"Shut up down there!" Dad yelled.

God, why couldn't he _here_ me! The small window in here was boarded up. I could just see through a crack in the wood. Eli was sitting there in the hearse. He was fiddling anxiously with something.

"Eli!" I shouted. I didn't see him react in anyway. He couldn't here me.

And I was stuck down here.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so, maybe it's a little too dramatic, but... well, WHO CARES! Drama is interesting, even if sometimes it's unrealistic. Did you guys hate it? I hope you didn't... Anyways, review and tell me, even if you DID hate it, I'd like to hear back on this one. - C<strong>

Little piece of trivia for you guys. I was named after Caitlin Ryan from the original Degrassi. Any of you who haven't seen that (I know I haven't) might know her as the reporter who dated Craig's kind-of-dad-person in the earlier seasons. She was my moms favorite character. :)


	16. Chapter 16

_**Eli's point of view (Should be interesting, huh?)**_

I didn't like letting her go in there by herself. No matter how many times she reassured me that her dad wasn't home, I still felt anxious. I couldn't sit still. The thought of loosing someone else... It drove me crazy.

I kept playing with one of my rings, trying to distract myself from the worry. She'd promised to be quick. It'd been ten minutes.

I looked at the clock. Five more minutes and I was going in there.

I saw a figure walk in front of one of the windows and suddenly felt cold. Frozen.

Claire was petite. Short, not very large and definitely feminine. Not like the figure that had walked past the window. The figure was tall, large, and most definitely not Clare. Most definitely a man.

I bolted out of the car, my door left open behind me. I bound up the steps to Clare's door. Before I stepped in, which I was racing to do, I had to take care of something. If something had happened to her... I shook the thought out of my head and pulled out my cellphone.

"Mom?" I asked when someone answered my home phone.

"Hi, hunny. Is everything okay?" She asked, sounding happy to hear from me.

"Mom, I think Clare's dad is home. I'm going to go in and make sure she's okay. I don't want to overreact and call the police right now, but if I don't call you back in two minutes, call the police and send them to Clare's." I said in a rush, hoping she understood. I quickly listed off Clare's address, waited for her to say okay, and hung up.

I pushed open the door.

"Clare?" I called out. There was only one light on in the entire house, the one in the kitchen.

"Who's there?" Called a man. He sounded angry.

"I'm looking for Clare." I replied, stepping farther into the house. I wouldn't usually be so intrusive, but I hadn't heard Clare answer yet.

I was starting to worry.

"Eli!" I heard her yell. I ran towards her voice. Her words had sounded thick, like she'd been crying, or had a fat lip. Either one was not a good sign.

"Who are you?" Clare's dad asked, and finally stepped into the living room.

"Eli, I'm in the basement!" Clare yelled. "Get help! And get out of here!"

"Your friend isn't going to be able to get you out of there, Clare. I'm sorry hunny." He said, but the cruel smile on his face didn't look apologetic. It looked happy and pissed, at the same time. He looked insane.

The police are on there way." I said, as he headed towards me.

He laughed. "I can tell that you're bluffing." He said, and was finally in front of me. "I don't think I you'll seeing my daughter anymore."

I didn't reply, just took a slow step backwards.

"I don't think you'll be seeing _anyone _anymore." He said.

I saw his hand coming towards me and moved out of the way, hitting him once in the face before he could connect his fist.

"You shouldn't have done that." He said angrily. He wiped at the small amount of blood trickling from his lip.

"You shouldn't have done anything to your daughter!" I shouted back at him.

I saw his fist coming at me, but I was too slow to move out of the way this time. I felt it connect with my face, my feet flying out from under me, and my head hitting the floor, hard. That was the last thing I remembered.

**_Clare's point of view._**

"Eli?" I yelled. I heard a thump and than nothing. "ELI!"

Oh god, he wasn't answering. What if... what if he was... oh god.

"Don't worry, I took care of your little friend. He won't be bothering us anymore, Clare." Dad called through the door.

"NO!" I screamed, and pounded against the hard wood keeping me prisoner the basement. "Let me _out_!"

"You'll leave if I do." He replied.

"Leave Eli alone! Please, dad!" I shouted. "If you leave him alone, I'll stay. I promise. I'll never leave again, just don't hurt him!"

"Too late for that, Clare-bear." He said.

I shuddered. He might have hurt Eli. No, he had _definitely_ hurt Eli. He might have killed him...

"Toronto police!" Called another male voice. It wasn't my fathers. "Anyone in here?"

"Yes!" I shouted, and my mom ran up the steps behind me.

"Help!" She screamed.

"What's going-" Who ever it was stopped. "Put down the weapon, sir."

"I can't do that." Dad replied.

"Put it down!" Another put in.

I heard a few angry shouts, what sounded like a fight, and eventually a thud as someone hit the ground.

A few moments later someone was standing in front of the basement door.

"Can you hear me?" He asked. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Yes." Mom replied. I saw tears streaming down her face.

"I need you to back far away from the door." The cop said.

Mom and I both obeyed. Less than a minute later the basement door was broken, but we were free.

"Eli!" I called, running out the door and into the living room. There was emergency care people scattered around. When mom and I came out some of them came over to us, searching us for wounds. There were many on both of us, but I wasn't waiting to get inspected.

I ran over to Eli's unmoving body.

"You can't touch him right now." One of them said.

"But-!"

"Sorry." She said, looking me in the eyes. "I can't let you touch him. If anythings broken, you could make it worse."

"So he's- He's alive." I said slowly.

"Yes. Just unconscious. Where not sure of the complete amount of damage. It looks like a broken rib, possibly from several kicks. Mostly, the head wound is the problem." She said, and I realized that there was a very small, but still there, puddle of blood around Eli's black hair.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It looks like the attacker," She started, glancing at my father who was also motionless on the carpet with doctors around him. "Punched him, causing him to fall and hit his head. It's not fatal, but he might have a concussion."

"As long as he's going to be okay." I said.

"I can't promise anything, but I think he'll be fine." She replied.

Knowing Eli was okay, I finally I sat down on the couch and let the doctors inspect me while they brought both my father and Eli out on stretchers. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.

As I sat there I let years worth of tears for my father, and large amount for Eli, fall down my face.

* * *

><p><strong>This story is only going to have one more chapter. I know it wasn't very long, but I feel like after the next chapter (Which should be up VERY soon, because I already have the entire thing planned out I just have to write it) will put all my characters in a place where I think I can't go any farther with them. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and also, starting tonight I will be putting up a BRAND NEW ECLARE STORY! Woot! So any of you sad to see this one go might like it. I'll explain more about it at the end of this story. Anyways, reviews are always amazing, so come on, hit that button and share your thoughts! PLEASE! - C<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

The aftermath of everything that happened was chaotic. After Eli and my father were brought to the hospital, Eli's mom and dad pulled up out front of our house.

"Where is he?" Ceecee asked, running up to me. She immediately engulfed me in a hug that hurt my bruised ribs. "Clare?"

"The hospital." I told her. The shock and fear in her eyes almost made me burst into tears again. "He's okay. He's fine. Well, not fine, but the doctor said he would _be_ fine."

"Oh, god, my baby!" She cried. "We'll meet you at the hospital!"

She ran back towards her car, Bullfrog following her. I felt a huge twinge of guilt. If not for me, Eli would be fine. His parents wouldn't be so worried.

Mom and I got in dads car and drove to the hospital. Neither of us asked about dad or went to visit him.

Ceecee and Bullfrog were both in Eli's room. Ceecee was smoothing back his hair. He still wasn't awake.

"What happened, Clare?" She asked. I went and stood beside her, laying my hand on top of Eli's.

I explained everything to her, bursting into tears at some parts. "Your son he... If it wasn't for him we'd still be in there."

"I'm so glad you're okay, Clare." She said. Mom sat awkwardly in the corner, looking uncomfortable.

"I'm glad he's okay. If something worse had happened... because of me, I don't know what I'd do." I said, and for the millionth time that day, I burst into tears. Ceecee comforted me. My mom didn't even move to wrap her arms around me or anything. I felt a twinge of hurt at that, but ignored it.

Eventually mom and I left, leaving Ceecee and Bullfrog with Eli. I made Ceecee promise to call me when he woke up.

We made a stop at the police station on the way home.

"So what's going to happen to him?" Mom asked the officer who had gotten us out of the basement.

"Well, he woke up not to long ago. We had a psychologist check him out, ask him a few questions. He won't be going to jail." Said police man, Mark Silver, his name tag read. "They're blaming it on insanity."

"So he's not getting in any trouble for this?" Mom asked. She looked pale and outraged.

"No, he will. He's getting put in a ward as soon as he recovers from his injuries. We'd also like to suggest that both you and your daughter sign restraining orders. If he set one foot in your direction again, he'll be put away for a long, long time." He said. He looked angry that dad wasn't going to jail. I was too.

"That's the best I can do under the circumstances." He said, giving us both a small smile and pulling out a bunch of paper work.

We signed the restraining orders and left, heading back to our house. It wasn't a home anymore. I don't think I could ever consider it a home again.

"Are you sure you want to bring me here?" I asked.

It had been a week since the incident with my father. Eli had healed up fast and was released from the hospital two days later. We'd both been excused from school for the week. Dad was in the psych ward, which, we were told, he would be staying for a while.

I was over at Eli's house almost constantly since then. Mom hadn't been talking to me much. She was depressed. She didn't clean, or cook or do much of anything. I tried to help her but I couldn't reach her. My dad had broken something inside her, and I didn't blame her for her behavior. Still, being at Eli's was much better for me. I still went home and made her dinner, made sure she was sleeping and bathing. But I wasn't happy there anymore, but I was at Eli's.

"I'm sure." Eli said, grabbing my hand with the one hand of his that wasn't carrying the single rose.

Eventually we stood in front of a small, black tombstone.

_Julia Jameson_

_Forever in our hearts, forever in our souls-_

_1994-2010_

Eli placed the rose on the grave. I noticed about thirty other roses there, each in a different state of decomposition.

"Hey, Julia." Eli said quietly. He looked a little uncomfortable talking to a grave with me standing behind him. I squeezed his hand, reassuring him that I wasn't judging him.

"This is Clare." He said, and turned to smile at me. "She's... she's helping me move on."

One single tear dripped down his face. "I'm not forgetting you, but I realize now that I can't spend the rest of my life wishing you were still here. Because you're not." He said sadly. "But I'm getting better now."

"I'm happy again." He said quietly. Then he turned around and pulled me out of the cemetery.

"Do you feel any better?" I asked.

"Because of that?" He asked. "Yeah, a little. But mostly because of this."

He leaned over and pressed his lips against mine.

"Are you coming over for dinner tonight?" He asked.

"Of course. I don't think Ceecee would let me miss it." I told him, giving a small laugh.

"I don't think I'd let you either." He said with a smirk.

He gave my hand one last squeeze as we walked back towards his house, quiet, content in each others company.

"I got it!" He said suddenly.

I looked over, my eyes wide. "Got what?" I asked, confused.

"I've been stuck on the end of that essay. I just couldn't figure out how to finish it." He said, smiling at me.

"Finally figured it out?" I asked. He nodded. "So, what is it?"

"The most important thing about Clare, though, is that she's impossible not to love." He said.

I laughed and he joined it. "So corny, coming from you." I said.

"Corny, but true." He replied. "I love you, Clare Edwards."

"I love you, too, Eli."

* * *

><p><strong>And so it ends! I hope you guys were satisfied with the ending. I know I was. I know it as a short story, but if I added anything else, it would be dragging it out too much.<strong>

**In other news, I will be starting a brand new fanfic tonight. Another Eclare, of course, though I can't say that Clare and Eli were the main cause for the idea.  
><strong>

The main idea of new story: ( IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SEASON 3 DON'T BOTHER READING THIS YOU MOST LIKELY WON'T GET IT) I was watching back episode of Degrassi, when I remember my all time favorite Degrassi couple. Yes, I love Eclare to DEATH, but before Eclare, I loved another couple even more. SEAN AND ELLI! From season three! I know some people weren't a fan of that. If you weren't, well, *sticks out tongue* Anyways, as I was watching season three I rewatched Take On Me, which is still, to this day, my favorite Degrassi Episode. The one where Jimmy, Sean, Ellie, Hazel and Toby were in detention. As I was watching this I thought, what if I do an Eclare story based on the story line of the Sean/Ellie relationship? Eli being Sean and Clare being Ellie. Of course, there will definitely be a twist on it, my own touch because I don't want to follow that exact story-line.

**It may sound stupid, I don't know. All I know is I'm doing it anyways, and I think anyone who likes this story will like it too. **

**REVIEW! Tell me what you think of everything (including the idea for the new story). ALL REVIEWS WILL BE APPRECIATED! **

**Also, a special thanks to you guys for reading and reviewing. You guys are ALL amazing. Seriously. - C  
><strong>


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